Goodbye my friends. You will never be forgotten.

Today I write with a heavy heart. I am only 33 years old and I have lived to see many close friends and acquaintances pass from the Earth. This makes me sad. I look back on those we have lost and I need to write this. I need to tell them some things.
This morning, my ex-husband called me and yesterday a text. This morning, a friend of ours died by his own hand. Yesterday an acquaintance did the same. About three years ago, a dear friend of mine went to bed one night and never woke up. His younger brother died as a result of a heart condition a year or so later. Twelve years ago February, a guy I was once very close to died by his own hand as a result of drugs. I have lost many to car accidents. There have been overdoses both accidental and purposeful. I have even lost a couple to murder. To all that have passed: I miss you and I think of you often.

For my loved ones killed suddenly: My heart bleeds. I am shocked and confused by your passing. It is as if a piece of my heart has been violently ripped from my body. Many of you I hadn't seen in the days or even months leading up to your passing and for that, I feel guilty. I always expected you to pop into my life again. Some of you would randomly appear on occasion and brighten my day.

For those that took their own lives: I wish you had spoken up. I wish I had been closer. Maybe then I would have known how much you were hurting. I wish you could have reached out and maybe you could have been helped. I have been there. I understand. Now you can be at peace. Your loved ones are not. We are hurting. While we will adjust and we will learn to live without you, we will never forget. We still love you and we think of you often, even after many years have passed.

For those who died slowly and in pain: I am relieved that your pain is gone. Even in my relief, I grieve for you. I mourn your loss and you will always hold a place in my heart.

I am honored to have known each and every one of you. I hold your memories dear to me. Not all are pleasant memories, but they are dear. No matter how short your time was, you made an impact. You will be remembered. Forever in our hearts and often in our minds.
Death is funny in its ability to erase some of the bad memories or change your perception of them. Memories can be triggered by the most minute of occurrences. A song can bring me to tears. A smell can put a smile on my face. A photograph, however, can captivate my attention and keep me reminiscing the entire day.

For those of you still breathing, who think your life is insignificant, that is not the truth. You may only make an impact on a few, but for those few, your impact is tremendous. Everyone, please remember to smile at a stranger. Tell your loved ones how you feel. Never regret the things you didn't say. Say them. Life can be stopped in an instant.


Thank you all for reading! You are loved!