What happily ever after really looks like.

I am one of the lucky ones. I truly got my happily-ever-after. No, my life was not written by Disney. Yes, I know that some of those stories portray an unrealistic bliss. Whether or not you believe that everything will work out like a fairy tale, you may not have a real grasp on what forever really means. 

1. People are gross. 
I jokingly tell my girls all the time that boys are gross. Truth is, PEOPLE are gross. Think about the functions of the human body for just a minute. Eww. Women might even be more disgusting than men. Menstruation comes to mind. Let's not even get started on the fact that many people are not great at rinsing out the tub or sink after they shave. I have never been one to fart in front of people, but I am the minority there. I strongly recommend stocking up on smell-goods (spray, wax pots, etc.) for every room!

2. You won't agree on everything.
Josh and I are very well-suited for each other. That doesn't mean we agree all the time. We have different parenting styles. We don't love the same music. I am ridiculously optimistic and he is more cynical. I am more grace, he is more wrath. He is old testament, I am new testament. He always says, "We don't support gender roles." but I do support traditional gender roles (before you send me hate mail, I also support traditional gender roles for myself. I am perfectly happy being June Cleaver and I know that is not possible or preferred for everyone. You walk the path that is best for YOU.). We differ on many things, and that is okay. Mostly, we balance each other. Sometimes, we just have to argue. The important thing is, we get it out of the way, and we are done. The anger doesn't hang around. We still love each other, and neither of us is going anywhere.

3. You are going to have bad days.
Have you ever been angry? I mean irrationally pissed-at-the-world-for-existing mad? How about sad? There will be days when emotions, hormones, pain, or whatever have you miserable to deal with and maybe even unbearable. Your partner will have to deal with that and you will have to deal with their bad days. Sometimes they will be able to make it better; not always. Have you ever heard the song that goes, "I just wanna be mad for a while"? If you or your partner are fixers, the bad days will be HORRIBLE. It happens. Just let your partner know they are appreciated. In today's society, the bad days can end it all.

4. Your partner will see you at your worst.

Josh tells a story of when our friends' first baby was born. When our friend described the birth (c-section), his eyes glazed over in the thousand yard stare and he said, "I saw inside my wife... INSIDE my wife!" Now, both of my moms are nurses, and I don't mind blood and guts. One of my moms attempted to film my last birth and was too interested in the surgery to get good footage of the baby. Hey, it isn't every day you get to see what a person looks like on the inside. I could watch surgery all day long. The thing is, surgery is awful. It is hard to be "pretty" when you are crucified on a surgical table. If you have never had a similar surgery, you are laid out on the table with your arms strapped down away from your body. It looks like a horizontal crucifixion. I have had fevers so high I was delirious. I have been depressed, angry, sick, in pain, and otherwise. All of the things you don't want people to see, your partner will see that. 

5. Some days will be just plain boring. 

There isn't always grand excitement. They might be days you just lay around and watch TV. There could even be days you hardly speak! 

6. You don't want to be apart, but you have to. 

Some days, an eight hour work day is FOREVER! Josh comes home for lunch. When he doesn't, or I need to be gone over the lunch hour, it throws off my whole day. Neither of us can get any good sleep without the other. Sadly, in the real world, we have responsibilities that take us away from the loving arms of our partners.

7. When you want to be alone, they are EVERYWHERE!

Sometimes, you need a break. When you are in your "happily ever after", you probably live together. That is fantastic when when you want to snuggle, not so much when you are looking for solitude. Remember those bad days and the things you don't agree on? Sometimes you need to be alone. They don't always listen, or even know you need alone time. 

8. Your partner will see the best in you.
Even when you are at your worst or can't agree on anything, even when you are gross or having a bad day, your partner is with you for a reason. A loving partner will see that your anger is really hurt. Your partner will see what you are capable of, even when you don't. You will see the good in them, even when their actions or their words are a reflection of the negative feelings they are experiencing. *I am not recommending you stay in a dysfunctional or harmful relationship.*

It is a beautiful thing to find that special someone. A relationship can bring great happiness. Just remember, not every day will be amazing. 


Thanks for reading!